Not everyone is blessed with 2 dads but I am and I am a better women because of it!
I chuckle when I say my 2 dads because in this time/this era people often think that I have gay dads. That would be cool but that is not the case here. I have a birth father and a dad who married my mom (also know as a step dad but we don’t and have never used that term!)
My Birth Father:
I only spent a few years living with my birth father before my parents got divorced and we moved in with my dad and his daughter (that is a whole ‘nother blog post-lol!). Growing up my birth father to me was a hard working man. He wasn’t the emotional, lovey dovey kind of guy. He was focused, to the point and was about his -ish! Even though I didn’t live with him, I developed the same kind of personality. My brother and I call it the ‘Skinner mentality’ you either roll with it or you might get your feelings hurt (#byefelicia). He was the vision of a father who worked, provided food on the table, clothes on your back and a gift or two here and there. He expected the best from you and didn’t tolerate mediocrity. He paid for college, gave me a down payment for my house, paid for some of my wedding. That is who my dad is. He is organized, financially fit (he is a retired banker) and a great care giver.
Growing up, I don’t think I remember my father ever telling me he loved me. I don’t say that to be sad, I say it because he was just not that kind of guy. I never doubted his love for me-he showed me in so many ways. Well fast forward to 2008 when I was pregnant with my 1st child. I called him and told him he was going to be a grand dad and in pure Skinner mode he says ‘no I am not, my daughter is having a baby!’. Ouch-but expected. Well 6 months later, I called him to let him know that I was in labor….to my surprise he was in MD in record time from NY to be there. From that moment on, I have enjoyed a side of my father that I never experienced as a child. He is the best grand dad and he is such a proud grand dad. Yes the man now is kinder, warmer, shows emotion, loves to play with the kids, buys them gifts, loves showing them his garden and overall is a completely different person than who I knew as a child. I have to admit, I was jealous of this side that my kids were getting but I have come to grips with it and I am enjoying every minute of it. For Easter, I took the kids to see my father and they had a blast together. That weekend my father and I had such great conversation over food and wine and I learned things about him that totally helped me understand him better. None of us wanted to leave and my father kept thinking up things for us to do so that we wouldn’t leave. It was really sweet!
To my birth father-I wish you a Happy Father’s Day! Thank you for teaching me how to be strong, focused, driven and about her -ish!
Without going into great detail…my dad came into my life after my parents divorced and we moved from NY to DC. In all honesty this time of my life was very traumatic to me and kind of a blur. My sister and I joke about my childhood because I don’t remember much of it. I digress.
My dad came into my life and has raised, molded me and helped to make be the woman I am today!
He too was not the super lovey dovey type either but I did get a few ‘ I love you’ and ‘I am proud of you’ along with hugs and kisses from him. He too was the household provider, expected the best and did not tolerate mediocrity. (Do you see a theme here-my mom sure knew how to pick them!) Growing up, my dad was our biggest supporter. He was the dad who was at all of the extra curricular activities (girl scouts, track meets, science fairs, school plays, chorus, etc. ). If we had to be there, dad made sure we got there and was right there with us. He wasn’t hard to miss with beautiful dark skin and standing at 6 ft 9in. Everyone knew our dad and it was a comforting and awesome and proud feeling everytime. Having him as a dad was awesome. It totally confused everyone because clearly I don’t look like him and people couldn’t understand how that was possible. Only people who really knew our family knew about our ‘blended family’ otherwise he was my dad.
A little over 10 years ago, my dad was diagnosed with early onset parkinsons. This continues to be very devastating to our family. He has gained some mobility through deep brain stimulation but overall he is not the same dad that I grew up with and this is so hard for me. Hard that my kids will never see the fun, engaged, running around, kicking the ball, racing them down the street dad. Don’t get me wrong, he is able to play with them, semi-chase them but it is a very different experience. His love and admiration for them is at 1000 and they know and feel that. They love their grandpa I tell ya!
To my dad-Happy Father’s Day! Thank you for showing my that men have feelings, setting the standards for me and helping to raise and mold me into the independent woman that I am!
One of my favorite memories of my dads is them both walking me down the aisle. So many people were surprised by this and to me it just made perfect sense. These are the two men who have worked together to raise me. I couldn’t imagine having to choose one to walk me down the aisle. So as they have done my whole life, they did it together.
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and dads!
What memories to you have of your dad(s)?
Have a Fit-Tastic Day!!
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