WW-Yes I can be a bit judgmental…

It’s Wednesday…..no need to wonder what is going on here on the blog….you know what it is….It’s Wednesday Word Link-Up with Deb!!

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Today’s word: JUDGMENTAL

I am known for saying ‘Judgment is for Jesus!’ and I whole heartily believe that but it doesn’t stop me from being quite judgy (is that a word….it is today) at times.  Unfortunately, I have had examples of judgmental people in my life and although I despise this trait, I have to admit that it is a work in progress for me daily as I try to break the hold that has surrounded me just about my entire life.

judgment

A few examples in my life that I shamefully admit to being that lady who judges ;(

At work:

-I work for Health and Human Services, where we support the poorest, neediest of the poor in the county.  Our core services protect the community’s health, protect the health and safety of at-risk children and vulnerable adults and address basic human needs including food, shelter and clothing.

My office is located in the  income support  wing(food stamps, child care subsidy, emergency cash assistance). I don’t work for this department but this is where my office is.

99% of the people who come into the office are single moms.  I know that some of these moms are single moms due to poor choices but I have to remind myself that not all single moms are moms by choice. There could have been some sexual trauma/abuse/assault that lead to the pregnancy. They could be recently single due to divorce/separation/escape. They could have been brave enough to choose to be single versus putting up with an abusive spouse.  I don’t know their life and their story and I have to stop myself often from judging.

-So you are coming up to ask for financial assistance but you are driving up in a Range Rover/ Mercedes/Expedition….what I don’t know is that you may have borrowed that car from a friend just so that you are able to get to the income support office and back to work during your lunch break instead of having to take off the entire day and travel by public transportation.

In life:

-So you order a buffet of food and a diet coke….What I don’t know is that diet coke may be their beginning steps to making a healthier life style change by cutting down on sugar and caffeine;

-So you have 1 child out of wedlock and whose father is not in their life and you talk about the struggle and then you get pregnant again by a guy you are casually dating….what I don’t know is that you may be getting nervous about ‘the window closing’ and you want to have one more child;

-So you think it is ok to wear that outfit (the one you wore to the club last week) to work…..what I don’t know is that this might be the only ‘dress up’ outfit that you have and it has to serve multi purposes;

-So you have 3 kids by 3 different men and now your oldest (just out of college) is pregnant and now you are having your younger daughter read The Wait….what I don’t know is that you have talked to your daughters about your relationship mistakes and you were/are hoping that they will learn from your mistakes and you are using The Wait to reinforce what you have taught them;

-So you post pictures of you and your family happy and smiling on FB but I know that your life is NOTHING like that….what I don’t know is that this may be your way of coping with the -ish that is happening in your life;

So there you have it…some of my shameful judgmental occurrences….I am truly embarrassed and ashamed but I know that I am working consciously everyday to be less judgmental.  I am consciously working on thinking the best of people and to remind myself that what appears to be going on the outside is not always what it  is. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Are you ever judgmental? 



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15 thoughts on “WW-Yes I can be a bit judgmental…

  1. Coco says:

    I like that “Judgment is for Jesus” line – I will have to remember that. I am most likely to judge people in traffic or obese people feeding their obese kids crap food. I’m just as guilty of being self-centered when I’m running late and certainly make my share of bad food choices, so I know I have no right to be judgy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. runawaybridalplanner says:

    I really enjoyed this post!
    If I am going to be honest, sometimes I am terribly judgmental and I know I am a constant work in progress in changing that.
    I had a similar job situation, years back I was working as a paralegal for the Attorney Generals office in our state and I worked on some of the medical billing cases, in short sued those who didn’t pay their bills. And yes when they’d come up to my office or I’d pull their credit report I often got so annoyed by their lavish purchase habits. My friend worked for the state in the food stamp office and between us we just saw too many taking advantage that it’s true our first thought was to judge. I’ve tried to change through the years, I’ve gotten better. But really I need to take a lesson from your post and remember that not everything is how it looks, and frankly like your quote above, I’m not Jesus, so it’s not my right to judge anyway!
    Thanks for the great food for thought today!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jennifer LE (@runningwithpugs) says:

    Sometimes it’s hard to sit back and realize we are never getting the full story. We get quick bits and pieces of someone’s life and frankly, we just don’t have the evidence to draw conclusions. The good thing is that we can all work on being less judgmental and trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kimberly Hatting says:

    I love the meme about “Is Jesus hiring?” That made me smile. I struggle daily with judging others…..not because I think I’m better, but usually I’m shaking my head at others for their choices. Like you said, I only know the surface and not all the nitty-gritty details of their life. Thanks for some perspective 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Run Wright says:

    Fantastic post. Yes, of course i am judgmental. I think we all are. And if we say we aren’t, maybe we’re not being totally honest. Forming judgments is how we interact with the world. It’s how we navigate through life by taking clues and cues so we know how to proceed. I often remind myself not to use my judgments to discount people though; I say to myself, “People’s lives are more complicated than we know.” That eventually became the theme for my book and the rest is history but being judgmental is something we all have to deal with because we don’t know everyone’s story.
    http://runwright.net

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Chocolaterunsjudy says:

    Those are all great examples, and being pretty firmly middle class, I suppose really upper middle class, I don’t see a lot of that. I’m sure if I saw someone driving a mercedes to get food stamps I’d be judgy too.

    Knowing there’s a problem is the first step, as they say.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Anne says:

    What a beautiful, honest post! It is hard not to judge, but you’re right, if you think a little bit about what could be behind what we see, you can move beyond your judgment. The trick is figuring out how to do it . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Another Jen says:

    This is a great piece. I struggle with this, too, and also with modelling it for my kids. When someone cuts me off in traffic, it doesn’t hurt me at all to decide that maybe they’re distracted by a family emergency, instead of deciding they’re a jerk, when both options have the same information to support them. We don’t know other people’s stories, and if we don’t take the time to get them, we shouldn’t judge on what we don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

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